GLSEN Student Ambassador Red O. shares their story of coming out and the importance of the Day of Silence.---------
With fear, pride, and a shaky voice I was forced to pull my self out of my comfortable yet crammed up closet. The closet I had been a refugee in for as long as I could remember. Their reaction was less violent and dramatic than I had expected. No glass was shattered, but something inside me broke by their reaction. "Stay quiet about this!" my mother demanded. "Don't you dare tell anyone else about you being like THAT." Like that? She could not even repeat what I had just told her. A simple three letter word that I usually said happily and proud had been turned into a sick, unmentionable word. Her words were painful, but the look she gave me could kill. "You are confused; You will change your mind when you find the right guy!" she continued as tears rolled down my cheek. I tried to speak but the words just choked me. Tears were all I could release. I stood there frozen as the woman, that held me in her arms when I was younger and put band-aids on my boo-boos, spit hate at me. That night, as I sat in my room both relieved and sad, I heard her say that I was not the child she expected I would be and that she was very disappointed.
Silence! That is what she wanted from me; her loud kid that gets in trouble for being overly hyper and talkative. But you know what? No one can make me feel bad for being myself! I am proud and no one will take that away! You may be able to repress me and keep my mouth shut for a while, but not forever! Soon I will be free to skip in the daisy fields and scream, "I am GAY and proud!" I will fly without a muzzle away from here!
I am lucky though. While I have only been temporarily silenced, others silence is more permanent. Everyday LGBT teens are silenced by their peers, parents, and other authorities. Some are silenced for moments, some for years, others for life. Some are bullied into silence, others are murdered into it. This Day of Silence, I will show support to those who have been muzzled in fear by giving up my voice for a day. It is important that we all stand together to make the echo of silence roar through our communities. Let kids know that they are not alone and that some people really do care.
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Stay tuned for more Day of Silence stories. If you would like to share your story, email us at info@dayofsilence.org.
3 comments:
I am a Mom whose arms ached reading your words. Thank you for "telling the story of who you are with your whole heart".
You are re-defining C O U R A G E ~ the Latin "cour" meaning ♥ and as it was originally defined:
C O U R A G E - To tell who Y ♥ O are with:
Y ♥ U R
W H ♥ L E
♥
It's never too late to learn and that goes for Mom's too!
~ Brene Brown is a wonderful teacher and researcher and author and mother and she re-defined the idea of courage for me that you made real.
http://www.brenebrown.com/
I don't know your Mom or your silence but I do know that "silence" can be a "gift" when you wrap it in a "book" ♥
The two books I've read (actually I listened to them on Audio Books (for free) because I am a V E R Y slow reader are both written by Brené Brown, Ph.d., LMSW and Mom ♥
"I Though It Was Just Me (But It Wasn't)
"The Gifts of Imperfection (Let Go of Who You Think Your Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are)
With you in silence ~ lj!
LJ Gallagher~Mom <3 Ni 14 & Wil 16
I am still afraid of coming out to my parents even though nearly every one else that I have met knows it. By the way I act most people would never guess it, most of the people that I tell are shocked because I never, in their words, "act gay." I don't know if I will ever have the courage to come out to my parents, I can only dream of the day where I don't fear a catastrophic back lash from them.
I always got told I was being bisexual because it was fasionable. I mainly dated guys. My mom never knew that me and my best friend had dated, but decided to end that. Today as I sat in my class, girls were asking me why I wasent talking. When they read the sign I had, they walked away as quick as they could, saying "Oh no!" Its strange for them to see me doing this, because Im pregnant,and my due date was yesterday. MANY people at my school have been walking around my school with white boards and thats how they have been talking. Same for me. We have an Active and running GSA, and we have been able to change our student hand book to cover the harassment of LGBT students. The Dallas morning news also took a comment from one of our officers on how our club is run when they were working on a story covering a school that wont let a GSA run. I personally did a paper on gay marriage for my senior research paper. I feel that anyone who is scared to come out to there parents is justified in being scared. Just remember, the people of this sight are here. WE stand behind you. It might not seem like much when you cant see us, or hear us, but we STAND BEHIND YOU 100%. We know your pain. And we will not let you be alone. I stand up not only for myself, but for the many people being bullied. For the many silent people. For the many people killed.
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